Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
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I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
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Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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