hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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