I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
