I CAN MOONWALK!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
