Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
