I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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