I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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