but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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