Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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