this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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