Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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