why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
