GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
