I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
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I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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