covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you never un-have a 4some
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