Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize