do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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