Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
