Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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