I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
