I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize