The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
