I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
