P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
