dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
