I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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