I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
