bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
