She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
