We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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