your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
