Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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