I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
