Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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