Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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