how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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