I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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