I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
