It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
