I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
