oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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