It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm at about main and main street
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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