turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
