you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
