Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
