Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
