I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
