to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
