roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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