last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I still have a little drunk in my system
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
