she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
