i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize