I wish i was in the wii world.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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