He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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