omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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