I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
