guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
