why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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