hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
