we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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