ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
