I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize