I love black thongs
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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