Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she told me i tasted like america
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how does that bad decision feel?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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